I’ve talked about my need for planning before. I say need-what I really mean is desire. My desire to know what’s coming so that I can plan accordingly so that everything goes exactly the way I have it mapped out in my head. I’ve also stated that the picture in our head of how everything’s supposed to be is often times what messes us up the most in life. For the most part, I’ve learned that I can’t always control what happens in my life. Unfortunately, I basically need a routine reminder of this set to go off about every six months on my iPhone. What I’ve been learning recently though is even more complex; I cannot control the choices that other people make. No matter how much I love them, want the best for them, or would do anything to see them succeed in life. It is a pure challenge to watch people make deliberate choices that you know are going to bring them down. Witnessing a downward trend in those you love is almost harder than watching it happen in your own life, simply because you have even less control.
I guess this is the part where I should offer up some sort of solution for the paragraph of a catastrophe I just described. Sorry if that’s what you were expecting, because quite honestly, there isn’t one. Or, at least I don’t have one. It’s like I said before, you can’t control the choices that other people make. Of course, like anything in life, it should be brought before the throne room of Almighty God. He is sovereign, and despite our incapability to successfully intervene in the situation, He has a master plan. He didn’t create us to be puppets, but gave us freewill so that when we choose to love Him, He’ll know it’s genuine. We have to realize that those we love also have that freewill, and they don’t make choices based on whether or not we approve. If you have called them out from a position of love, mercy, and having their best interest at heart, but they refuse to listen, there is nothing more you can do except trust God.
You will not sway them. You cannot sway them. You are not God.
Only God can change hearts, and hearts can only be changed upon the desire to do so. Here’s the reality of it all, we are called to love despite whether we feel the person is right or wrong. However, we are not called to lower our standards or approve of what they’re doing. This makes for a very complex situation.
Loving without condoning is the most tricky aspect of healing.
I think if there’s any sort of key to this, that’s it. Love. (Shocker, shocker coming from the girl who wrote a book about love.) Because love heals and restores, no matter how beaten up and broken things get. Realizing that despite how much we feel like we could handle the situation better than the way it’s going, we can’t. We’re not in control, and the greatest solution to any problem (even the ones that aren’t ours) is to trust the one who is.