Waiting on Mr. Right

Working with youth, the depravities of our culture are much more real and evident. One thing we are always talking about is what it looks like to (eventually, when the time is right) have a godly relationship. Teenage girls need someone to tell them that happiness isn’t waiting for them in the relationship with the cute guy who will pay them attention and buy them coffee until the next best new and exciting thing comes along. And guys need to hear that they don’t need to be pursuing a girl until they can accurately treasure her heart and take care of her needs. All of them. Physical, spiritual, and emotional. It’s a big task, this protecting of our own hearts and preparing them to love selflessly and endlessly one day when that right person comes along. But what I fear has happened is that by creating this vicious cycle of dating young and dating many, we have also formed the habit of giving in when things get tough. We end it once we feel it, “just isn’t working anymore”. That’s not how marriage works. You pick someone and you stick with them. You choose them once and then you choose them again every day. You choose them over the stress and frustration and annoyances of every day life that will eventually set in after the butterflies stop their fluttering. Oh goodness, to help teenagers see beyond the moment of butterflies…As they compare themselves to those around them walking through a blissful state of oblivion, so often I find myself saying, “Yes, her life looks perfect in her Instagram pictures. But nobody posts the ugly things on social networking. The heart break, the ugly crying. Remember, you’re only seeing the good stuff. Believe me, the bad stuff is there too.”

I’m striving to instill in them a strong sense and understanding of where their value comes from. And by instill, I mean live it out. We’re all seeking to be known intimately and personally, overwhelmed by love and overtaken by joy. But until we find that in Christ alone, we will never be satisfied in our dating relationship or marriage.

If we’re not Christ centered, Christ consumed individuals, we won’t be a Christ centered couple with a Christ consumed marriage.

We talk a lot about praying for our future husbands. It makes him so much more real, and it is the coolest thing to think that he is out there somewhere. And the reality is, I certainly hope he’s praying for me, because I need it. One of the greatest acts of love is to earnestly pray for someone. I pray for myself too in regards to our future marriage. That I’ll be as ready as I can be. That I’ll be the wife I need to be for him and the woman God is calling me to be as we serve Him together. Nearly every day my prayer is, “Make me (prepare me to be) a wife that pushes my husband closer to You every single day I am on this earth with him.”

We talk about the things we hope for. How a man should always push you more towards Christ than himself. Your relationship with Christ should be more important to him than his relationship with you. Always.

Not only is he a better person when he loves Christ more than me, he’s able to love me better. The reverse is also true, so it’s important that right now I learn how to love Christ first.

The soul purpose of marriage is the advancement of God’s kingdom and the glory of God. I think we lose sight of that more often than not. As in most things, we’re usually thinking about what’s in it for us. 


One thought on “Waiting on Mr. Right

  1. This is really great! I love where you said, “The soul purpose of marriage is the advancement of God’s kingdom and the glory of God,” and I feel like you’re speaking to something most people (myself included) don’t really understand until after marriage — so wise! Something I read a long time ago, shortly before Pete and I met, changed my perspective on a lot of things, and I feel like you’d really like it because you hit on a lot of similar points. It’s a Piper book online (http://cdn.desiringgod.org/pdf/books_bssc/books_bssc.pdf), but look specifically at the chapters on single women, starting on 183. My FAVORITE sections, though, begin on 191 with the Proverbs 31 section and 197 with “Trusting God with a Hope Deferred.” SERIOUSLY SO GOOD. Love when I catch a post about your blog and get to read some of your heart!

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