A few months ago, I was standing in the kitchen with my mom. My mom is one of those people that is incapable of having enemies – she is the most empathetic and compassionate person you will ever meet. Growing up, my friends adored her. (They still do.) She was the “cool mom” without ever trying to be the “cool mom”. She just couldn’t help but genuinely love everyone she encountered, and as her kids, we definitely benefited from that the most.
I would actually dare say I benefit more now as an adult from my relationship with my mom than I did as a child (or maybe that’s just because adulting is way harder than anyone ever let on that it would be, so her guidance feels more emergent.)
Standing there in the kitchen, I saw both seasonal elements of parenthood in a profound way. As if it was the joy of her life to inform me, she looked at me and said, “You look pretty, inside and out.” In one sentence, so much wise parenting and child shaping and preparing-a-tiny-human-to-be-a-great-adult was revealed: Compliment your daughter enough so that she’s confident, but do it in such a way that she knows that’s not what matters.
My mom is always the first to mention if my outfit is particularly cute or my hair is having an exceptionally fabulous day. I think it’s because she knows deep down, every girl carries herself a bit differently when that’s the case. But what she also knows, and what she’s always instilled in both of her daughters, is that looks fade. It doesn’t matter how pretty you are if your heart is ugly. Who cares how well you did your make-up or what shoes you were wearing if you weren’t positively impacting the people around you?
I’m thankful for the example my mom has set as a true queen – always gorgeous in every way, but most importantly, in such a deeper way than what meets the eye.
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30