New Year, New Me

It’s January. A part of me loves that and a part of me is irritated by it. It’s overwhelming to think that the magical tick-tock of a clock that has ushered us not only into a new year, but a fresh decade, could possibly be the magic code to unearthing all we’ve ever wanted to be and unleashing the potential it takes to maintain the goals of getting there. On the other hand, it’s always refreshing to have a new beginning.

I think the balance comes when we realize that it’s not the new year that makes us new. It’s not the new decade, the new resolutions, the new goals, or the renewed sense of dedication and commitment we’re putting forth.

We can all be new at any moment.

Only He can make us new.

Only He can transform our lives.

The most productive thing I can do is to get on my knees and seek the face of God.

Everything else? It can wait. It’s all birthed and accomplished from there anyway.

It’s not the actions that move us so much as the heart that prompts them. All progress is dependent on the heart.

All progress starts with repentance and confession. Repentance over everything I am and confession over everything I’m not.

In this space, God can move.

In this space, oozing with grace, I can grow. I’m not stifled breathless.

All the people that I feel like are dependent on me because God has tasked me with the job of stewarding them? Their hearts can’t be shepherded by me until my heart is shepherded by Him.

All the people I feel like I’m disappointing? All the situations I feel like I can’t fix? All the books I want to read, the commentaries I want to be studying, the Bible study I want to host, the church project I want to help with, the class at the gym too close to when I get off of work, the meals I want to prep, the thoughts I want to write and share but haven’t typed them out yet, and the people I want to love but it just simply feels like there’s not enough of me to be everywhere all at once? There’s not. I can’t. And that’s okay.

The most important thing is to just be present with Him.
That’s where I change.
And I can only do what I’m called to do when I am who I’m called to be.

His.

That’s who I am.

And this year, I’m dreaming just as big as I ever have. Maybe bigger. I’m believing for things that will forever change me so that through Him I can change the lives of those I intersect with and the lives of those I’ll never meet.

But my goal? It’s small. It’s two words. Focus and abide.

Abide: to bear patiently, to endure without yielding, to wait for, to accept without objection, to remain, continue, stay, to endure, to remain steadfast or faithful

Focus: a point of concentration, directed attention, a state or condition permitting clear perception or understanding, adjustment for distinct vision, to cause to be concentrated, to adjust the focus, to bring into focus, to concentrate attention or effort

I’ve never chosen a word for the year at the beginning of it. It’s honestly always felt a bit impossible. I’m a lover of words. They’re my love language. And to choose only one to define an entire chapter of my life feels limiting. I’ve never understood how someone could hear so clearly about one word.

It was even stranger when I felt like out of no where, God gave me two.

Focus and abide.

But once I wrote out the definitions in my journal, it made perfect sense.

You can only abide through focus.
Your heart abides where your eyes focus.

So, this year, I will focus my eyes to abide my heart.

He is the goal. He is the resolution. And I believe the outcome will be bigger than anything I could ever dream up to ask Him for. I believe, ultimately, the outcome will be the very best thing – more of Him.

 


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